In which the entire story of Vox Machina is told to the tune of Don McLean's American Pie. This song is for those of you who have four hours every week to watch Critical Role, and, therefore, only have 10 minutes of free time remaining.
Every once in a while, I'll do a song here that I didn't write- this is one of those times. Meany Vizzini sent me these lyrics a while ago and I was honored to be asked to bring them to life. His lyrics can be found on their original reddit post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/criticalrole/comments/7rj8rh/spoilers_c1e115_the_vox_machina_way_alternative/
Lyrics and Tary/Backup Vocals by Meany_Vizzini
https://soundcloud.com/user-690288121/have-you-seen
https://youtube.com/channel/UCxX01vxORIKBpWthsBvd2Zg
@MeanyVizzini
The Saga of Vox Machina
A long, long time ago,
In a stinking tavern met some misfit
Thrill-seekers for hire
And none knew how when they had met
A course of hist’ry had been set,
That ragtag band of heroes would inspire
The early exploits, so I’m told,
They slew some monsters, made some gold
Met a cleric stranger,
And saved Westruun from danger
The dragon Brimscythe ceased to be,
And Uriel from demon freed
With Super High Intensity,
Vox Machina was born
Soon they’ll be sayin’
“Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Might be plannin’, but they’ll ad lib
When they get in the fray
If there ain’t no danger, then they’ll Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s got to be a Thursday,
Soon it’s got to be a Thursday
In Kraghammer they arrived,
To seek for Kima, so they strived
To strike with Greyspine an accord
They met a mind flayer in a cave
And, well, it seemed that he’d behave
And so, they trusted him o’er Lady Vord
Some lava in the Emberhold,
And then K’Varn did they behold
The town was unappealing,
So they dropped Tiny on the ceiling!
And with the horn of Orcus from him pried,
The aberration from the Far Realms died,
Clarota was not a nice guy
When Yug’Voril was freed
They started sayin’
“Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Might be plannin’, but they’ll ad lib
When they get in the fray
If there ain’t no danger, then they’ll Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s got to be a Thursday,
Soon it’s got to be a Thursday
Two guests from the north did come,
The tyrants of the once-great slum
Where Percival had lived before
The group played Jenga, saw a tree,
A solo Dino ramaged expertly
Only to be bested by a door
They freed Ripley, then got caught
On their way to the Ziggurat
The siblings were made placid,
After pouring on the acid,
But with a ray of sunlight, the vampire died
To dismay the ritual of his cultist bride,
And Percy’s ‘Box was thrown aside
The day Whitestone was won.
Now they’re sayin’
“Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Might have planned it, but they’d ad lib
When they got in the fray
If there ain’t no danger, then they’d Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s got to be a Thursday,
Soon it’s got to be a Thursday
Then they watched their whole world burned
By the great alliance of forgotten Wyrms,
They found a skull but rolled the least
Grog slew Kevdak friends-to-one
Then made plans at the rising sun
To attack the belly of the beast
Things with Vorugal got weird
After Larkin disappeared
Parents came when beckoned,
Catching Thordak, unexpected!
With the Cinder King down in his lair,
The sick Deceiver gave a feeble stare
Vox Machina had taken Ker
To see the Conclave through
Emon’s sayin’
“Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Might have planned it, but they’d ad lib
When they got in the fray
If there ain’t no danger, then they’d Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s got to be a Thursday,
Soon it’s got to be a Thursday
The humor left their vestiges
When the Gnome performer asked them this,
“What’s my mother’s given name?”
Not a day passed before they found
An artificer with a robot, bound
To write about his fortune and his fame
They took that golden boy through Hell
He before a Kraken fell,
With families at odds,
They became as golden gods,
Then he was kidnapped for his heart,
But found another way to play his part,
And so young Taryon would start
The Darrington Brigade
He was sayin’
“Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Who needs Scanlan when we’re plannin’
A nice beach getaway?
And the Tempest finalized her Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s got to be a Thursday,
Soon it’s got to be a Thursday
Scanlan, in disguise, returned
To share with them the things he’d learned
Eventually they all agreed
They saw the Whispered One’s rebirth
And went to planes not of this earth
To ask the higher powers for a seed
They gathered strength while in the fey,
The revenant would lead the way
A wishful plan was broken,
The sealing words were spoken
After conquering his destined foe
The lightest and the darkest rogue
Made his path a snowdrop road
Then turned and walked away
Now we’re sayin’
“Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Might have planned it, but they’d ad lib
When they got in the fray
When there wasn’t danger, then they’d Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s got to be a Thursday,
Soon it’s got to be a Thursday
So “Bidet”, the Vox Machina way
Might be plannin’, but they’ll ad lib
When they get in the fray
When there ain’t no danger, then they’ll Aramente
Singin’ soon it’s gonna be Thursday!